Final words from Morocco

dear all, the end of the trip is nigh...
firstly, an apology: i have received a number of pieces of mail, mainly from my concerned family (though notably not my mother) about the meningitis i suffered from a while ago.
i would like to take this opportunity to admit that i did at no time suffer from meningitis, or indeed any such thing. this was a mere fabrication, although i did once have a cold that kept me sneezing for a week, which is almost as bad...
i hereby extend this apology to everyone except religious chris, with whom i am now even after he informed me that he had lost a limb.
anyway...
thanks to all who have sent info on the plane hijakings, i have been on cnn etc, but still dont know as much as i'd like. ben took the opportunity of the disaster to tell a few of the locals that it was 'probably the arabs'. i think he wants to die.
since the last email, we have been to the desert (not A desert, THE desert)
and ridden on camels. ben was conned out of money, and i argued with some arab before he got some compensation.
we have also been up in the rif mountains, mooching about and trying to steer clear of trouble. its really cool up there.
now we are in rabat, our last stop before casa and home.
its been a varied trip, one extreme to another. when we left chefchaouen (in the rif), it was monsoon raining, the first of the trip, and the water had formed rapids down the cobbled streets of the hillside medina. amazing.
im sure i'll inform you all of the rest of our stories in good time, but we are both looking forward to coming home now, been here long enough.
just a few quick notes:

simon, sorry to hear about the groin, sounds unusual- if you get a brown liquid called henry seeping out, start to worry- its what i had just before the 'accident'...

dad, thanks for the football info, ive missed out on that as well.

shaun, i was homeless to start with- in the long run it beats being a lodger. youre welcome in our flat until you find somewhere though, it shouldnt be long if youre homeless, though sharing my bed is pushing it a bit! ill call you when i get back, but be wary of anyhting to do with families, hotels or boscombe...

ben, glad to hear james is alright, ill keep my fingers crossed for getting home soon.

jim lovesy, who is this karen from reception??? so... i did find out! haha! prepare for a grilling upon my imminent return.

sara and sophie, youd better have that kettle on when i get down there...

mum, sadly, i have died. typical. am too dissappointed to talk about it, will try and let you know the details when we arrive in heathrow... typical.

anyway, thats all, will see/speak to most of you soon, if i dont, bad luck.
rock the kasbah,

El Sprengiko!

How NOT to react to the news of the twin towers attacks...

We are in a drum shop in Erfud, a small town near the Western Sahara, chilling with the locals.

Ben Cheng and I are sat in the corner, with several Moroccan Arabs around us tapping away an infectious rhythm on their drums. The whiskey is flowing and the kif, mind blowing.

The owner of the shop has a paper in his lap. He turns a page to reveal Osama Bin Laden’s then unknown, now unforgettable face, surrounded by Arabic writing.

He turns to Ben.

“Who do you think is responsible for the attacks?”

Ben contemplates this for a moment, scratching his fortnight’s worth of beard.

“Probably the Arabs”.

Silence.

I wanted to die.

Fortunately we didn’t. Instead everyone began to laugh. When I quizzed Ben later he said “I didn’t realise you could be a Muslim and an Arab, I thought it was like being Hindu and Jewish.”

more from maroc

dear all,

firstly, am in a bit of shock about the news from the usa, its a bit difficult to find info, but if anyone could send me a breakdown of whats going on, i would be grateful.

i hope you are all still well and so on.

ben and i are now in marrakesh, soaking up the atmosphere. the heat here is intense, and i have already lost several pounds of sweat! soon we plan to go further inland to the desert!!! there we will see much sand and bit of camel.
after that, we will travel north to fes, up to chefchouan - a hippy village in the rif, and back through rabat to casablanca. hopefully by then the airports will all be back to normal...
since the last mail we have been busy, met some other travellers and shared stories- there are a few good ones about. back in essaouria we went to a hammam, where i was massaged (tortured) for about ten minutes before i had the pleasure of watching ben suffer the same fate- anyone who knows him, laugh... he screamed like a girl!!!
the moroccans themselves are all hustlers and gits, but we either ignore them or else ben talks cantonese and i act dumb- then they just pat us on the back and let us go.

anyway, i will bore you no longer with info, save for when i get back. oh, except for the story of when i bought a little statue for 50 dirham and a pair of socks... he loved it. also managed to offload my vinten tripod hat as a sailing cap. hehehe.

a few quick replies:

ben s. thanks for catch-22 really funny.

steve c. thanks for the warning, i think its okay here though, but the guard is always up, i do think that they find it funny...

jenny. back to uni at the beginning of october so will miss you by a few weeks, take care.

esther. yeah, bald, its growing well slowly and i look like a convict.

chris. they speak arabic, french and berber here, and also enough english to sell you something you dont want- im steering well clear of carpet shops.

kate. when i had meningitis i made my friends feel sorry for me by groaning a lot, and made my mum buy me ice cream. milk it for all its worth, it soon goes and leaves you feeling even worse because youve eaten solely ice cream for 2 weeks.

sara. yeah, ben is quite a bad person to travel with, i tried to club him to death with a bongo the other night, but i think his heads made of wood. the bongo wasnt so lucky. my bowels are quite irregular, thanks.

mum. am still alive, unbelivable, at this rate i will live forever.

shaun. bournemouth? tell me all about it, i bet youre well chuffed.

miriam. whoah, you sound busy, good that you are having fun, let me know of any other shenanigans...

i think thats about it, thanks for writing to me etc,
big love and lots of flies (the bastards),
Sprengiko x

Greetings from Morocco

Email from travels in Morocco...

dear all

hope you are well cannot find comma on foreign keyboard

we are in essaouria south of casablanca lapping up the sea and sun and generally chilling out have met a few scary morroccans and seen some of the greatest and worst views ever

sometimes the smell almost kills me and i have to lean on ben for support who, (aha) by the way, is even more stupid in this foreign climate than at home

having lots of fun and not in too much trouble yet...

the toilets here are nasty and for al those in the know, my groin is bleeding

liz, thanks for the book

ben, may pop in to a place called ben slimane and send you a postcard...

steve a, happy birthday matey, have one for me

steve c, what are you on about, this place is great

sara, thanks for the photo, you have more stubble than i remember, but your friend is well hot and certainly not fat!

mum, am still alive

please forward to anyone whose adresses i have lost, except for people that i hate,

big love and small singing birds to one and all,

el sprengiko.

ps, am still bald, i want my hair back...