James Hurst: designer extrordinaire

www.randomboy.co.uk

James (friend of mine, bit of an activist, his name is definitely on a few 'lists'...)

QQQ Anyone seen my tape measure?

It's chunky and silvery and answers to the name Troy...

correct toilet usage

Dear all,

It has come to my attention that certain persons (presumably male) are misusing the building's toilets, namely by urinating on the floor.
I would like to take this opportunity to draw your attention to the bowl shaped construction that lines the far wall of all our bathrooms. This is a toilet. All are in full working order, but can only dispose of waste fluids if aforementioned fluids are directed more precisely towards aforementioned bowl. 'Close to' or indeed 'nearby' will just not do.
Please take note of this email, the cleaners are becoming increasingly concerned with this issue and I would imagine it's really not a nice thing to have to clean up.
A happy cleaner is cleaner happiness.

Many thanks.

El Sprengiko

water

Hi all,
as you no doubt know, we have 2 different types of water vending bottles delivered each week, triangular ones and circular ones.
The tri-bottles are bought specifically for reception and UFL, as they have the posh LCD screen vending machines that look nice for all the celebrities queuing to be rehydrated and cleansed.
The cheaper yet larger circular bottles do not fit onto the tri-vendors or look as pretty, and are specifically bought for all other floors.
Please only replenish your water supply with the appropriate shaped bottle (obviously if available), the water inside is exactly the same and this will ensure that our tri-vendors are never without water.
Thanks.

Marylebone Road Newspiece

MARYLEBONE ROAD IN CARRIAGE RESURFACING SHOCKER!!!

Since it's inception back in 1542 the A501 has been eternally shrouded in controversy, and today's announcement will do nothing to quieten the public's mounting despair on the issue.
As the main traffic route between the Edgware Road and Baker Street, the road has suffered in the past from neglect and an increase in 'motorised vehicle damage', and will therefore be closed between the above points while major resurfacing works involving workmen, noise and tar, take place.
A spokesperson said; "Works begin on Monday 11th October, and should be complete on Friday 22nd October".
Under pressure, he later added; "I must stress, however, that the following week up to and including Friday 29th October is held as a reserve in case of delays and disruptions to the work programme".
An onlooker onlooked; "This is an outrage".
Another more consistently educated bystander commented; "The key question here is surely 'how will the good car drivers of UBC media get in to work?'" To which an answer was given alluding to an enforced diversionary route during work hours.
Mr John Baish, a well-known anti-road-surfacing campaigner, denied comment on whether his frequent forays into Marylebone would become more sporadic.
Busty babe Tiffany (pictured overleaf) said " I love sweaty men with big tools".