More from the email conversation that shook the nation...

Hi Richard,

Many thanks for the reply. It really made my day to receive it and I have proudly told most people I've come into contact since all about it!

Unsurprisingly I share the Spring*r / Spr*ng*r issue, indeed while at college a small group of friends referred to me as 'Jerry'. While at school I always wanted to be towards the end of the alphabet - my dream surname was Zwick (or Zucco or somesuch) for that very reason!

Interesting that you're actually a Franz, I'm not sure of our own history dating back that far, but have always hoped my ancestors were German dynamite experts - the most literal translation I can find for Spr*ng*r is 'Blaster'.

Thanks again for your response. I am glad we share the name.

Best wishes,
Richard

PS - fairly unique? Surely this conversation proves our name is anything but...

The email that made my day...

Hi Richard

Thank you for your email, I don't get many emails from myself. On the positive side the name is fairly unique, people tend to remember the name once they realize it's not Spring*r. On the negative side the family name came from moving in to a house called Spr*ng*rhoff in 1723. Our name is really Franz. Starting with S also meant waiting a long time at school when things were decided alphabetically. Most people can't pronounce the name and usually I get "like Jerry or a spaniel". Despite all this when we had a family discussion about changing the family name back to Franz, there was no enthusiasm.

Good luck with the name.

Richard

For the sake of namesakes...

Dear Richard Spr*ng*r,


I am emailing you because like you, I have been blessed with the name Richard Spr*ng*r. I have never met any Spr*ng*rs outside of my immediate family - I assumed it to be quite an uncommon name (outside of Germany, where I believe we have a fuller quota).


So you can imagine my surprise when I realised there were more Spr*ng*rs in the UK, and that one of them (possibly more) was similarly called Richard.

I believe you are slightly older than me (I am 25) and wondered whether you believe our name to be a blessing, a curse or neither of the above. Do you wear the good name of Spr*ng*r on your sleeve, or is it a burden you cope with admirably?


I took the liberty of purchasing your book, Intermediate Food Hygiene, though was disappointed to find its spine was without author. To be honest I have little experience of good food hygiene, but I think it's marvellous that one of us does, and not only that, but that you appear to be very successful with it.


Anyway, thanks for your time, I hope you are well.


Best Wishes,

Richard Spr*ng*r.


--------------------------------


Hi Richard, It's me again, Richard.

I am writing again as I didn't receive a response from my previous email... Maybe you thought I was taking the mickey, maybe it didn't get past your spam filter (Richard Spr*ng*rs are notorious for having excellent spam filters...)

I genuinely am a Richard Spr*ng*r and would be keen to hear from you, the only other Richard Spr*ng*r I have ever come across, with regard to the email above.

I promise to leave you alone should you wish, but I'd just like a few short lines from you on our name, if you have a moment I would really appreciate it.

Best wishes,
Richard Spr*ng*r

* removed for legal reasons...

Puzzle a Day

Dear Sir / Madam,

I received your 'Puzzle a Day' pad for Christmas and found it a little disappointing to say the least.

Though some of the days included good puzzles, the majority of the days were either hideously complicated (do you expect the puzzles to take ALL day? - I will grudgingly put this down to the fact that I am not a member of Mensa) or worse, simply wrong!

The complicated questions gave no method to working out the answer, more often than not just a number was provided, leaving me no happier that you had got the correct answer but suspecting that you had made it up. Maybe I'm just thick, but there can be no excuse for some of your bigger errors on the quiz.

Allow me to be anal about this with a random selection of puzzles I have not yet got round to throwing away:

Day 247's numbers do not fit onto the crossword grid, because one of the options is 2446, not 12446 as it should be. Pretty slack I think you'll agree.

Day 264's changing of DUST to GOLD in 5 moves would be fine, if only there were 5 moves to be made, rather than the four slots you have allocated. Slack once more.

Day 302 has a man and his son who are aged 27 years apart but with age digits reversed. Apparently they are 63 and 36 respectively, but could they also not be 52 and 25? or 41 and 14? or 74 and 47? 85 and 58? I could go on...

That really is thick.

Thus, within 2 months, there are at least 3 of these errors (from memory many more) which, coupled with the puzzles at the other end of the spectrum, make for a wholly unsatisfying year.

I do think the idea for 'Puzzle a Day' is a good one, but I do wish it had been carried out by professionals.

Yours, in sympathy,

Richard Sprenger

A serious courgette problem

Dear mercilessly ever-expanding supermarket brand (that shall for obvious reasons remain nameless),

As you are my local store, I frequent your business on a regular basis (in the evening, after work).

However, I have NEVER, in all my routine visits, EVER seen a courgette upon your shelves.

I have seen boxes designed for courgettes; I have seen signs displaying the price of courgettes; I have seen pictures of courgettes, insensitively mocking me from the self-service checkout screen (I know them to be green and phallic).

But never, not once, has the physical embodiment of a courgette actually graced your otherwise well stocked branch.

It is for this reason that I write to you, with a humble suggestion that may seem controversial, maverick perhaps, but that I truly believe will revolutionise your courgette retail in a most dynamic manner.

BUY MORE FUCKING COURGETTES.

Thank You.