From Brick Lane to Bethnal Green

That grotty nymph and I took a walk from Brick Lane (well, Spitalfields, actually) to my flat in Bethnal Green. We walked down Bethnal Green Road, as that is the way you go.

We also took some photos, and talked about them for you.

BREAKING NEWS: London 'Almost Finished'

Hello all,

As you know, I pride myself on keeping abreast of a number of 'situations' that develop in and around our working environment.

Thus, a 'situation' has indeed developed, the details of which I will pass on to you now.

It appears that the Marylebone Road (between Edgware Rd and Baker St) is due another makeover, this time of a 'High Friction' nature.

The road will be closed overnight (2030hrs - 0600hrs inclusive) between Tues 29th March and Fri 8th April, though the works may go on until Fri 15th April should the weather be unsatisfactory. A diversionary route will be in place during these hours, though normal service will resume in the daytime.

On the plus side, I have it on good authority that this is the proverbial icing on the cake, and that once completed the city of London will be 'finished'.

Thanks,

El Sprengiko.

camden crawl

Mike Wood and I went to the Camden Crawl last night. It was really good. The night went something like this...

18.25 - Mike and Sprengiko arrive in Mornington Crescent.
18.46 - Mike and Sprengiko finally figure out how to get hold of wristband (necessity).
18.53 - Mike and Sprengiko arrive at Barfly to see 'The Others'. Sprengiko can not count change from alcoholic beverages supplied.
19.07 - 'The Others' begin their set. They are good fun. Crowd surfers are a bit silly, culminating in roughly thirty people crashing onto stage for final number. A great deal of sweat is exfoliated by all.
19.51 - Mike and Sprengiko walk halfway across London to see 'Towers of London', who are basically a Motley Crue tribute band who look like the Ramones. They do a number of daring things, including throwing cigarettes at the audience, throwing beer at the audience, and spitting at the audience. The audience throw and spit back. They also take the opportunity to perform highly cliched rock manoeuvres such as standing in a line in front of the drum kit. Despite this they are not actually appalling (in a Spinal Tap kind of way).
20.02 - Mike notices that the tall guy obscuring our view is Simon Price. (Sprengiko is impressed for the following reasons: 1. Sprengiko has never heard of Simon Price. 2. Simon Price is apparently a print journalist, and thus does not have a recognisable face. 3. Mike can only see the back of his head anyway). Sprengiko confirms that it is indeed Simon Price, by shouting his name and looking in the opposite direction. Simon Price turns around.
20.42 - Mike and Sprengiko get bored at gig, decide to go and see 'Maximo Park'. After arriving to hear the final three chords of the only song of theirs that is any good, we spend twelve minutes listening to songs that are not good.
20.54 - Mike and Sprengiko go to see 'The Glitterati' and have to queue!!! Mike says he has heard one of their songs. The lead singer may or may not be related to Rod Stewart (or Ronnie Wood). They are actually very good. Mike has never heard any of their songs.
22.00 - Mike and Sprengiko head off to see the special surprise guests. It turns out they are The Buzzcocks. Mike and Sprengiko decide to go and see 'Goldie Looking Chain' instead. On leaving we shout out to the assembled masses humourous things such as "I can't believe Steps are playing". No-one is amused, one person is positively excited.
22.16 - Mike and Sprengiko arrive to see 'Goldie Looking Chain'. They are awful. Mike and Sprengiko leave to see an acoustic set by 'Hope of the States'
22.29 - Mike and Sprengiko arrive at 'Hope of the States'. Whilst queueing we encounter someone who is trying to queue-jump. He looks like he is in a band (stock band haircut, girlfriend much prettier than him) Sprengiko suggests he is in Razorlight. Whole queue subsequently takes the piss out of him. Man leaves in huff. Other man comes out of venue shouting "is Andy from Razorlight here?" Andy from Razorlight disappears around corner, followed by better looking girlfriend.
22.32 - Mike and Sprengiko have photo taken for Japanese magazine. We tell photographer we are in a "really good band". Photographer laughs.
22.35 - Mike and Sprengiko get in to venue. Sprengiko shouts out "Razorlight" and then talks to some randoms whilst the guitarist strums the first few chords of Golden Touch. Sprengiko does not notice. Mike looks knowledgable.
23.02 - Mike and Sprengiko go somewhere else. Sprengiko's memory haemmorages.
02.32 - Mike and Sprengiko are stood with two guys from Torquay at Euston. Sprengiko decides he can not get home.
07.57 - Mike switches on the light. Sprengiko is on Mike's sofa, fully dressed and smelling like a cold, wet, homeless dog with the lurgy.
08.44 - Mike and Sprengiko arrive at work. All hell breaks loose.

THE END

Marylebone Road Newspiece

MARYLEBONE ROAD IN CARRIAGE RESURFACING SHOCKER!!!

Since it's inception back in 1542 the A501 has been eternally shrouded in controversy, and today's announcement will do nothing to quieten the public's mounting despair on the issue.
As the main traffic route between the Edgware Road and Baker Street, the road has suffered in the past from neglect and an increase in 'motorised vehicle damage', and will therefore be closed between the above points while major resurfacing works involving workmen, noise and tar, take place.
A spokesperson said; "Works begin on Monday 11th October, and should be complete on Friday 22nd October".
Under pressure, he later added; "I must stress, however, that the following week up to and including Friday 29th October is held as a reserve in case of delays and disruptions to the work programme".
An onlooker onlooked; "This is an outrage".
Another more consistently educated bystander commented; "The key question here is surely 'how will the good car drivers of UBC media get in to work?'" To which an answer was given alluding to an enforced diversionary route during work hours.
Mr John Baish, a well-known anti-road-surfacing campaigner, denied comment on whether his frequent forays into Marylebone would become more sporadic.
Busty babe Tiffany (pictured overleaf) said " I love sweaty men with big tools".