The Tiny Nazi

During a well earned lunch break from walking the Welsh hills, Clive notices something in Lenka's hair...

Hilarity and tragedy, in equal parts, ensue.

A poem

A poem doesn't have to rhyme,
To do so takes up too much time,
And I'm fucking busy.

Percival Pig

Here's my nan June reciting a favourite poem, Percival Pig, from her chair in Edinburgh.

Extreme Toothbrushing UK

The very latest extreme sport to come out of the yooo kayyy!

It's extreme toothbrushing, and it doesn't come more extreme than this, with poetry and editing employed to get that gnarliest brush man!

You Elfish Bastard

From the team that brought you the last ConVERSEation, here's another one...

Almighty Wind

A ConVERSEation.



That's right - It's a POEM! But one that takes the form of a CHAT!

Brilliant.

The eyes have it!

A monster swam by my boat the other day,
It had a million eyes,
I viewed it through the port hole,
Any closer would not have been wise.



[Getting quite into this poetry lark now...]

Totally Locally Poetry

Here is some poetry wot me and old Nymph of the Grot wrote in the pub the other day. Yeah.

Old ladies in cardies repeat what they say,
When conversing on the subject of All Saint Shaznay.
They argue over whether she out-sung Mel Blatt,
Only agreeing on the poor vocals from the Appletons - Nic & Nat.

The issue of impotence enters their talk,
They speak candidly of sex, making their grandkids balk.
It's Barry, Pat's husband, that comes up the most,
His erectile dysfunction she likens to soggy toast.
Sharon pipes up with "It happens to the best of 'em",
Pat replies "I could handle the worst, so show me the rest of 'em".

But Christine, who's been sitting in silence,
Gets her kicks from glamourised violence:
"I don't care if it's turgid or floppy,
I'd rather watch TV with some red pesto gnocchi.
Her eyes say it all as they dart round the room,
Looking for someone to play big spoon.

The ladies go quiet, wondering who will 'fess up next,
Roger's wife Deborah admits "I've never been sexed".
Lyndsay Ramirez, the Albanian Jew says;
"I'll show you a good time, why not become a lez?"

Ode to Parazone

A short poem with stimulating visual concept design, dedicated to the love of my life, Parazone Toilet Bleach.

No other rose would smell as sweet I reckon...