Your Soul

Hi Simon,

hope you're well!

I don't know if you remember, but some time in 1999 you part exchanged a 51% majority steak in your soul with me (I forget what you received in return, possibly a can of Dr. Pepper).

A great deal has happened in the time since that fateful day. London has been bombed, Kylie has cancer and Mark Young has failed at life.

But more importantly, I have very little cash and Ebay exists.

In short, dear friend, I am writing to ask permission to sell my 51% majority steak on the aforementioned website, for a minimal fee (I'm hoping to raise at least twenty pounds).

I promise to sell to a careful owner (I'll even forward you the link, in case you want to bid!) And trouble you no more.

How would you feel about this?

Please enclose a photograph.

West Bishes,

El Sprengiko